ZeldaBash!!!!!
by SilverWinglie
Summary: Everyone in Majora's Mask gets bashed, due to my anger! *Laughs madly*


~Well...I was very mad at my Zelda game, for deleting my good game file. The one where I had already beaten the game. So, of course, the characters must suffer for this. They must! (Wait till you see the end...)~  
  
Zelda Bash!  
  
***  
(Scene is: Stone Tower Temple)  
  
Link: *Looks over the edge* "Let me get this straight. If I shoot that freaky red scarab thingy, the whole tower will flip over?"  
  
Tael: "Right!"  
  
Link: *Shudders* "But it looks like those bugs from The Mummy...if I shoot it, will it attack me and start crawling around under my skin?"  
  
Tael: *Sigh* "It's fake, you dumb blond. Just shoot the scarab already!"  
  
Link: *Blink* "Okay..." *Grabs his bow and fires an arrow at the scarab*  
  
Tower: "Creak, creak, creak...BAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!"  
  
Link: *Looks around* "WOAH!" *Runs into the temple*  
  
(In the temple)  
  
Link: *Takes a startled step back* "This place is upside-down, too!"  
  
Tael: "No, really?"  
  
Link: *Looking around* "I wonder...if it's upside down, are we upside down, too? So...that would mean...if I jump offa this ceiling bar, then I'll fall...up?"  
  
Tael: *Shrug* "I wouldn't try it, if I were you."  
  
Link: *Ignoring Tael, starts jumping up and down and clapping* "Then I can fly!" *Jumps off of the bar*  
  
Tael: *Starts dinging the way fairies do when they're afraid*  
  
Link: *Falls...up! No, down...no, up...no...D'OH! I'm confused! Anyways, he falls like a stone...falling...falling...*  
  
Tael: *Zips down and grabs onto the back of Link's shirt* "I'll save you!"  
  
Link+Tael: *Hover for a moment, then...*  
  
WHOOSH! SPLATTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Dampe': *Comes and scrapes the two of them into a jar with a putty knife, then carries them off to the graveyard*  
  
~No more Link and Tael~  
  
***  
  
(Scene is: The Top of the Clocktower)  
  
Skullkid: *Twitches his head around, making those clicking noises* "It's boring up here, huh, Bob?"  
  
Moon: "Yeah, I know. And I really gotta go."  
  
Skullkid: *Looks up at the Moon* "Bob, moons can't go. Besides, *I* gotta go!"  
  
Moon: *Bares his teeth at Skullkid*  
  
Skullkid: *Turns around and moons the Moon*  
  
Moon: *Roars*  
  
All The People of Termina: *Look up in surprise*  
  
Moon: *Eats Skullkid*  
  
A.T.P.o.T.: "The Moon is EVIL!" *Pull out a rocket launcher*  
  
BAMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!  
  
~No more moon...No more Skullkid.~  
  
***  
  
(Scene is: Zora Cape)  
  
Japas: *Suddenly looks up from his guitar* "Hey, Evan, did you feel that?"  
  
Evan: *Looks at Japas* "Yeah...did the fish just move?"  
  
Lulu: *Stops singing* "Well, it serves to reason. We've lived in this fish for years, it's gotta move sometime."  
  
Drummer Guy: *Pokes at the fish's rib with a drumstick* "So...I always thought the fish was dead."  
  
Toto: *Shrugs* "Well...I wonder what's gonna happen?"  
  
Fish: *Suddenly starts swimming around as fast as it can*  
  
All: *Scream bloody blue murder*  
  
Gerudo Leader: "Thar she blows!"  
  
Gerudos: *Fire a harpoon*  
  
SPLINK! KCHHHHHH...  
  
Fish: *Screams bloody blue murder*  
  
All: *Scream bloody blue murder*  
  
Gerudos: *Drag the fish onto their boat and start rowing off towards their hideout*  
  
~Some time later...~  
  
Lulu: *Sniffs the air* "Ooo, something smells good!"  
  
Japas: *Sniff* "Dude, man! It's fish!"  
  
Evan: "Fish?" *Smacks Japas* "We're fish, you idiot!"  
  
Drummer Guy: *Shrieks like a girl*  
  
~Some more time later...~  
  
Gerudos: *Sit down to eat*  
  
Gerudo Leader: "Does this taste a little...different...to any of you?"  
  
Gerudos: *Nod*  
  
Gerudo Leader: "But it's good! Dig in!"  
  
Gerudos: *Eat like a pack of rabid wolves*  
  
~No more Zoras~  
  
~No more Gerudos, either.~  
  
~They got food poisoning.~  
  
***  
  
(Scene is: The Goron Village)  
  
Goron Baby: *Starts crying*  
  
Gorons: *Automatically clap their hands over their ears*  
  
Goron Elder: *Takes out a drum and gets ready to play the Goron Lullabye*  
  
Author-Hiding-In-The-Shadows: *Sniggers, holding a bottle of nitroglycerin*  
  
Goron Elder: *Hits the drum*  
  
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!  
  
~No more Gorons~  
  
***  
  
(Scene is: Deku Palace)  
  
Monkey: *Doing a little monkey dance*  
  
Dekus: *Clapping for the monkey*  
  
Monkey: *Grabs a log out of the fire and does a fire-eater trick*  
  
Dekus: *Cheer and whistle*  
  
Monkey: *Bows*  
  
Dekus: *Yell for an encore*  
  
Monkey: *Suddenly belches flame*  
  
Deku King: *Hops around frantically, trying to put out the fire that started on his head, also setting the whole palace on fire*  
  
Deku Palace: *Burns to the ground*  
  
~No more Dekus~  
  
***  
  
(Scene is: Romani Ranch)  
  
Romani: *Lobotomized from the aliens* "Uuuu...urgh....."  
  
Cremia: *Hiding in the corner* "please oh please oh please don't look for me here, please Romani...please........"  
  
Romani: *Looks in the corner* "EeeeeeeeeeRAUGH!" *Eats Cremia*  
  
~No more Cremia~  
  
Romani: *Spontaneously combusts*  
  
~No more Romani, no more cows~  
  
***  
  
(Scene is: The Stock Pot Inn)  
  
Tingle: *Helping Anju in the kitchen, dancing like an idiot*  
  
Kafei: *Sitting on one of the crates, fishing in one of the little streams that goes right through the Inn*  
  
Rosa Sisters: "I want dinner! I want dinner! I want dinner!"  
  
Anju: *Getting annoyed*  
  
Anju's Grandma: *Comes in on her spiky wheelchair of doom, (No, really. It is!) screaming like a banshee*  
  
Anju: "AIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *Drops several plates*  
  
CRASH SHATTER!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hand-In-The-Toilet: *Rips one*  
  
Stock Pot Inn: *Blows up*  
  
~No more...um, a lot of people. Actually...no more Clock Town.~  
  
***  
  
Wait one moment! Have I already destroyed everyone...? No...there's a few more...I'll take care of them all at once...*Smirk*  
  
***  
  
(Scene is: Hovering Three Thousand Feet Above Termina)  
  
Author: *Spreads her arms* "I call forth my evil minions of the feline race! Go, and eat!"  
  
Millions and Millions of Cats: *Come flying out of nowhere and proceed to eat every citizen of Termina that still happens to be alive*  
  
Author: "Mwa-hahahahaaaaa!!!! MWA- HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! Excellent! Excellent! YA-HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" *Stops for a moment* "Kinda wish I didn't kill Link and Kafei, though..." *Shrug* "Oh well. CATS! THE FINISH!"  
  
Cats: *All start howling at once*  
  
Termina: *Blows up*  
  
Author: ~A moment before Termina blows~ (. 


End file.
